This is the absolute truth, and was my reality. My mother was incapable of parenting as a mother should; there was nothing maternal about her. She did the bare minimum. We were fed and clothed, but she controlled every aspect of our lives with impatience, anger, manipulation and blame. No warmth, no hugs, never an "I love you,"no praise, and no positive reinforcement unless it somehow benefited her.
In adulthood, no matter what we did for her, it was never enough. She always wanted more, and even conveniently "forgot" all of the times we were there for her. She needed constant attention and wanted us solely for herself--until she decided she'd had enough and cast us aside. And we were always replaced by another family member-a cousin, an uncle, an in-law. And often, she'd replace one of us with the other just to cause friction.
So, you ask, how does anyone move forward from this to become a confident, productive and successful member of society, and most of all, a loving, accepting, non-judgmental and successful parent? Perseverance, awareness, drive, survival instinct, and intuitively knowing what did not feel right; really taking time to get in touch with your feelings.
It's also important to know you are not alone, and your story is important to tell because it will be someone else's story. Ask for help so others will be OK with asking for help, too. If you've gotten (or are getting) help, talk about that, too. Anything we all can share that will help just one more person heal from narcissistic toxicity is critical. There is so much written about the negative effects of a narcissistic parent. Google is a great source. Amazon has many beneficial books. Energy healing and/or therapy can also be incredibly powerful in the healing process.
The most important thing to know, to always keep in mind, is that you can heal. You can let the past go, and move forward with your life's purpose.
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